The Power of Connection at Work: Building Bonds to Boost Brainpower

Have you ever heard someone refer to a company or work team as a "family?" I am sure you have. Have you ever had the thought yourself, or had someone else tell you about their thought that too many families are crazy or dysfunctional for being like a family to make sense as a goal for workplace culture? You probably have.

So, why does it seem like we can't quit talking about work as though it were a family? (A big and happy one or otherwise.)

It is because our brains crave connection and can't function well without it. And families are a place where we know we need to stay connected to each other.

But we need to remember to stay conscious about building and maintaining connections with others in the workplace as well. In the fast-paced world of work, it's easy to get caught up in deadlines, deliverables, and the drive for success. But amidst all the hustle, there's one factor that can make or break our ability to perform at our best: connection.

Feeling connected at work isn't just a nice bonus—it's a fundamental human need. When we feel disconnected, unwelcome, or like an outsider, it can literally block our ability to think clearly, make decisions, and bring our best selves to the table.

Understanding the Need for Connection

Connection is deeply rooted in our biology. There's a part of our brain dedicated to processing information about how much rapport exists between ourselves and the people around us. This function operates automatically and unconsciously, constantly scanning our environment for social cues to determine how much others care about us and whether they will consider our needs and perspectives when making decisions.

What's fascinating is that while our brains crave connection and inclusion, If we are fundamentally healthy, we don't need constant pampering or attention to feel secure. What we truly need is to feel acknowledged and valued. We need to know that our perspectives are considered and that we are part of something larger than ourselves.

When we experience a strong sense of connection, we're more likely to engage deeply in our work, go the extra mile, and handle challenges with resilience. On the other hand, when we feel disconnected, we tend to disengage, avoid taking risks, or, conversely, overcompensate in ways that can be counterproductive.

The Impact of Disconnection

Disconnection can be a silent productivity killer. When team members feel isolated or excluded, their motivation and creativity can take a nosedive. They might start second-guessing their decisions, avoid collaboration, or even withdraw entirely from team activities. This can lead to a toxic cycle where decreased engagement leads to lower performance, which in turn further isolates the individual from the team.

In fact, a lack of connection can increase stress and anxiety, making it difficult for employees to focus on their tasks. In the absence of positive social interactions, the brain's self-protective mechanisms kick in, leading to feelings of insecurity and defensiveness. This not only affects individual performance but can also disrupt team dynamics and overall workplace morale.

Building a Culture of Connection

Given the importance of connection, how can leaders and organizations foster an environment where everyone feels included and valued? It starts with intentional, consistent actions that prioritize connection as a core element of workplace culture. Here are some strategies to help build and maintain strong connections within your team:

1. Practice "Three-Level Listening"

One of the most powerful ways to build connection is through active listening. However, listening effectively requires more than just hearing the words being spoken. It involves listening on three levels:

• Listen to Yourself: Be aware of your own feelings and how they might be influencing your non-verbal communication. Are you sending signals of impatience, disinterest, or judgment? Managing your internal state is crucial to creating an open and receptive environment.
• Listen to Others: Pay attention to what the other person is saying without interrupting or immediately judging the validity or their words or likely impact of their ideas and suggestions. Instead, give them the space to fully express themselves before you evaluate and respond. This not only shows respect but also allows you to understand their perspective more deeply.
• Listen to the Context: Consider the broader context of the conversation. How might the environment, societal structures, or past events be influencing what is said and what is left unsaid? Understanding these factors can help you respond in a way that is both empathetic and effective.

Listening fully doesn't mean you have to agree with everything that's said. It simply means creating an environment where connection and respect can flourish, which is essential for growth and collaboration.

2. Provide "Limbic Boosts"

The limbic system, a part of our brain responsible for our emotional and behavioral responses, plays a crucial role in how we connect with others. When our limbic brains are positively activated, we feel more connected, our thinking becomes clearer, and we're more open to learning and collaboration.

One simple but powerful way to provide these "limbic boosts" is through genuine, in-the-moment appreciation. This can be as easy as offering a "Situation-Specific Positive Verbal Interjection", where you briefly acknowledge someone's contribution during a conversation or activity. For example, saying "great catch," "nice insight," or "beautiful design" can make someone feel seen and valued. The key is to keep it specific, genuine, brief, and timely.

Another effective method is to highlight a "Simple Similarity" between you and your colleague. This could be something as trivial as liking the same brand of tea or using the same type of pen. While these similarities might seem insignificant, they can actually create a sense of camaraderie and connection that strengthens team bonds. Just be mindful not to focus on similarities that are deeply tied to someone's identity or personal struggles, as this can inadvertently cause discomfort or division.

3. Be Proactive About Inclusivity and Belonging

Inclusivity is about more than just having a diverse team—it's about creating an environment where everyone feels they belong and can contribute meaningfully. This means being proactive in ensuring that all voices are heard and valued, actively inviting input from all team members, asking directly for feedback regarding what makes people feel seen and heard and what makes them feel distanced, and being mindful of group dynamics that might unintentionally exclude certain individuals.

Creating a culture of inclusivity also involves being aware of and addressing any unconscious biases that might be at play. This could mean examining how you allocate resources, who you invite to meetings, or how you delegate tasks. By actively working to include everyone, you help build a stronger, more connected team.

4. Create Safe Opportunities for Social Interaction

Workplace connection isn't just about professional interactions—it's also about social bonds. Creating opportunities for team members to interact in informal settings can help build these bonds. This could be through regular team lunches, virtual coffee breaks, or team-building activities. These interactions help people get to know each other beyond their work roles, which can lead to stronger, more supportive relationships. However, don't just throw these activities together at the last minute. Take time to think through the inclusivity of social opportunities to make sure that they are welcoming to a wide range of people with a wide range of life experiences, interests, personality traits, and needs. And make them optional. Nothing destroys genuine connection faster than feeling as if you are being "forced to have fun."

5. Model and Encourage Vulnerability

True connection often requires a level of vulnerability. As a leader, you can model this by being open about your own challenges, uncertainties, and experiences. When you appropriately and briefly share your own stories and listen to others without judgment, you create a space where others feel safe to do the same. The actions of sharing and listening builds trust and deepens connections within the team.

The Long-Term Benefits of Fostering Connection

Fostering connection at work isn't just about making people feel good—it's about creating a foundation for sustainable success. When employees feel connected, they're more likely to be engaged, motivated, and committed to their work. This leads to higher productivity, better collaboration, and a more positive work environment overall.

Connected teams are also more resilient in the face of challenges. When people feel supported and valued, they're more likely to take risks, innovate, and bounce back from setbacks. This resilience is crucial in today's fast-changing work environment, where the ability to adapt and respond to new challenges is key to long-term success.

Review Your Leadership Connection "Default Setting"

As a leader, you have the power to shape the connections within your team. By making a conscious effort to foster connection, you're not just enhancing individual well-being—you're also strengthening the entire organization.

Start by doing a snapshot review. Think of a particularly busy day or few days at work and ask yourself these questions about your leadership during that time period.

Did you:

• Actively listen to your team members?  Or, in an effort to get things done, did you avoid opportunities for discussion or move on before they finished speaking?
• Ask yourself who you were hearing from and who you were not hearing from, and solicit feedback from team members who were usually quiet or withdrawn?
• Remember to include the "social niceties," such as greeting folks and asking how they were or thanking them for things they did for you?
• Take even a few brief moments to acknowledge personal milestones or expressions of emotion from others?
• Ask for help when you needed it, and give help to others when they needed it?

The point of your review is not to judge yourself. Perhaps you were highly connected during your time of stress, and perhaps you were not. In fact, many leaders are good at connecting when things are going smoothly and poor at connecting when things get busy. It is a natural human response.

However, excellent leaders become aware of their own responses under stress and find strategic ways to increase the cues of connection that they express to their teams during times of challenge.

Real connection doesn't need to take a lot of time or energy; it just takes focus and intention.

The feelings of connection you inspire will build your team's resiliency and ability to respond well, and strategically under pressure. By prioritizing connection, you' are actively creating a workplace where everyone feels valued, supported, and inspired to do their best work. And when your team thrives, so does your organization.

So, take the time to build and maintain strong connections within your team. It's an investment that will pay off in countless ways, from improved performance and innovation to a happier, more cohesive workplace.